Yellow Ribbon recognizes military spouses' sacrifices

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Anna-Marie Wyant
  • 920th Rescue Wing Public Affairs
AUSTIN, Texas --  When Air Force Reservists deploy, they pack up their gear, get their paperwork in order and prepare to go wherever they're told, all to support their country. They leave behind their civilian jobs, homes and families to face war environments. But in a sense, they leave behind a sort of war environment. Reservists' spouses are left to face a battlefield of their own: home. While the battlefield at home does not entail combat boots, M-16s and MREs, it may entail driving kids to multiple extracurricular activities, endless yard work and getting home appliances fixed.

Approximately 235 military members and their dependants attended the South Region's most recent Yellow Ribbon Program in Austin May 25-26 to learn about their pre- and post-deployment benefits, get advice from chaplains and counselors, meet other Reservists from other bases and much more. The event's keynote speaker was Mrs. Kristy Tubbs, a financial counselor, life coach, biblical counselor, proud military souse and mother of three.

"I do have a lot of credentials," Tubbs said, "but the biggest credential I have to be standing here today, that gives me the wisdom, the knowledge and the input to change your life, is this ring right here," said Mrs. Tubbs as she pointed to her wedding ring.

Mrs. Tubbs has been married to her husband, Lt. Col. Rick Tubbs, an Air Force Reserve pilot, for 23 years. She said she knew very little about the Air Force and even less about deployments when they got married, but she learned quickly. The harsh realities of war were not just overseas; she felt them at home. She said at some point, she didn't even know how times her husband deployed.

"I stopped counting after ten deployments; I just gave up," she told the crowd.

She said she grew resentful toward her husband and the Air Force because of the numerous deployments, and she said although she felt she didn't like her husband anymore, she knew deep down she still loved him and wanted to save their marriage. She said she felt so alone when her husband was away because nobody explained what was happening; she had to figure things out on her own.

"Twenty-three years ago I didn't know; they didn't have awesome programs like [Yellow Ribbon Program]," Mrs. Tubbs said. "We didn't have the system set up that you have set up for you now."

She said she strongly supports YRP and what it does for military members and especially spouses. She said it's a great networking opportunity for military spouses to build their own support system with each other as they face similar challenges.

"What we have to do as Reservist families is start to make our own circle together," she told the spouses. She even offered her personal phone number for anyone who needed her for any reason, any time, any place.

"No one was there for me when I needed someone... so I'm here for you twenty-four hours a day," she said.

When people hear the term military spouse, they often think of wives, but Mrs. Tubbs was sure to include husbands as well.

"We as military spouses need to recognize we need to be wingmen to the men that are left behind," she said. "We need to recognize what they're going through, and somehow we've got to figure out how we can all band together as a family and get through this."

Tech. Sgt. Jason Lester and his wife Kim said they understood and agreed with Mrs. Tubbs overall perspective. Sergeant Lester, an aircraft mechanic and production controller from the 301st Maintenance Operations Flight, part of the 301st Fighter Wing at Carswell Air Force Base, Texas, has been on approximately ten deployments over the course of his 20 years in the Air Force, 10 of which were active duty. Mrs. Lester said her husband's many deployments have been difficult for her because she had to balance her time with their three children, plus deal with household issues, like their water softener breaking while Sergeant Lester was gone. But during this last deployment, a broken water softener would have been the least of their problems.

"I had to have emergency gall bladder surgery last time he was deployed," Mrs. Lester said. "It was tough for me and the kids not having him around."
Sergeant Lester said his last deployment was especially difficult for him as well.

"The toughest part was not being able to be there for her when she was sick," he said. "I felt so helpless."

Luckily, the Lesters, who have been married for 18 years, have a strong support system at their church that helped them get through the difficult time. At YRP, they learned about other support systems and said it's comforting to know the Air Force Reserve is looking out for them. This was the second YRP event they attended; the other was prior to Sergeant Lester's most recent deployment. They said they strongly recommend pre- and post- deployers to attend YRP and bring their families. They said initially they were hesitant to attend, but after the first one, they were glad they went.

"We learn something new each time we come," Sergeant Lester said. "We learned so much about places where we can get help, like family support centers. That wasn't there when I was on active duty."

"You can ask specific questions, and it's a great time to network and understand that others are going through the same thing we're going through," Mrs. Lester added.

Master Sergeant Nicho Gutierrez, YRP manager for the 433rd Airlift Wing at Lackland Air Force Base, said most attendees have the same reactions to YRP as the Lesters.

"I often see past YRP attendees, and they always tell me how much they enjoyed the program," Sergeant Gutierrez said. "Overall, the reviews have been very positive."

While most aspects of deployment focus on the servicemember, YRP tries to focus on the families and give spouses the recognition they deserve.

"Most of the time, when servicemembers deploy, people just think of the military members' sacrifices," Sergeant Gutierrez said. "But we also need to recognize the spouses' sacrifices. We need to recognize the battlefield at home, balancing kids, work, managing time, and the Yellow Ribbon Program tries to recognize their heroic efforts too."

YRP was initiated by the Secretary of Defense and mandated by Congress in 2008 to provide information, services, referral and proactive outreach programs to Reservists and Guardsmen and their dependents through all phases of deployment cycles. The program's goals are to prepare service members and their families for mobilization, sustain families during mobilization, and reintegrate service members with their families and communities upon return from deployment.